I am totally incapable.

I feel like this is the thought I have on most days, as I am trying to deal with teenage girls who ignore me, talk about me in a language I can’t understand, and disobey me. Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t always this way. Sometimes the girls make me laugh, they help me, they surprise me, and they show love. Most of the time I don’t know what I am doing or what to do next. But the Lord is teaching me, and growing me, and moving in me.

We have been in our new home for two weeks now, and I would love to thank everyone who has supported us with everything! It is truly amazing the difference between the life they were living just a short time ago and now. The place we live was truly God ordained, it is perfect and the people here are lovely, even with what very little they have. It is much poorer than where we were living in Accra and there are many people who need help, so of course, I think this is the perfect place for a missionary to be. This past week I was blessed to be baptized in the ocean near our home. Mr. Reid Beebe baptized me while Robin, Kristie, Sydney, Kate, and my girls supported me from the beach. It was a beautiful experience and I was so grateful to be able to start this new chapter of my life with so much grace and love.

However, I am afraid the honeymoon didn’t last long! In my last blogpost, which is on the FTO blog, I remember saying that I was afraid. To be honest with you I still am. I’m afraid that I am doing a terrible job, that this is all going to fall apart, that these girls won’t be effected at all. Honestly I could probably go on for a whole book about how I feel completely inadequate for this job. But as I see Lucy carry her Bible from room to room, I know that if nothing else, I can help grow their relationship with Christ. These girls have come here with hard hearts, rough language, rude behavior, and harsh instincts. But God didn’t ask me to go out and find the most perfectly mannered, open hearted, Christ loving girls I could find. He asked me to go out and find the broken, the lost, the needy, and help them. Just do it.

Robin read Psalm 51 at my baptism, and I have to say I thought it was perfect. If you don’t know it, it talks about how “God I am sinner, I have sinned against you, I am sorry. Make me clean, make me whiter than snow. I was rebellious but now I will teach the rebellious your ways and sinners will return to you.” (not a direct quote) I was in such a different place, not long ago. I was rebelling, turning away from God, and I was getting lost. So, God knows that I am weak, I’m not strong enough to do any of this, except by his strength. And no matter how much I tell myself that I am not adequate for this job, it is not true. God has made me perfectly adequate for this, and he is continuously giving me everything I need. I thank God that he is sovereign over my life, nothing happens which he does not allow to happen. I continue to remind myself of this truth, and it makes it easier when he is teaching me and growing me in things that are hard.

Thank you all for the love which you have bestowed upon The Grace House. It is amazing to see what Christ’s Body can do when we listen to Him.

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